I think wonder

Search for reasons why

Can’t quite explain

Why I want to cry

I look searching

Try to find a clue

I am foolish

Don’t know what to do

Just a dumb man

Who will sit and sigh

Have no idea

Why I sit and cry

I look out of my window

Watching the rain pour down

I am sitting all on my own

In my dressing gown

Last night’s bottles on the floor

I have a heavy head

I can’t keep drinking so much

‘Cause I will wind up dead

The road that led me to here

A long and torturous one

Being let down by those closest

So now I trust none

To numb the pain that haunts

I drink to feel no pain

I dream of the day that I

Never suffer again

On sunny days I see clouds

Can’t enjoy the blue sky

I laugh in company

When I’m alone I do cry

I’m looking for the woman

Who will rise up and shine

So I can be led from darkness

And all will be fine.

I am new to tumblr, but I am loving the food tag.

I am getting the urge to cook all the time LOLOL

I sit in my lonely room

Will I always be alone

Rain beats against my window

Silence echoes from my phone

Can’t remember the last time

Anyone showed that they cared

I try to reach out yearning

My sould is open and bared

I look back on better times

With a wife and family

But my life is now empty

With an undorned Christmas tree

I see people with full bags

Presents bought for one and all

Now I have nothing to buy

There’s no one for me to call

I just can’t understand why

My life has fallen so low

Inside my fight is fading

There’s nowhere for me to go

I think of the easy way out

Nobody here will cry

If my life expired on this day

No one would wonder why

I could lie forever sinking

In the darkness around

Not facing anyone outside

Ignoring every sound

But deep within I feel something

There’s a reason to live

I can’t sit and blame the world

When I have something to give.

Do

Don’t

Who gives a fuck?

Spin

Toss

I am out of luck

Sing

Dance

Why not pout and flirt

Strut

Smile

Wear a micro skirt

Wife

Mum

Only when at home

Fun

Drunk

When out on the roam

Double

Life

Cannot go on

Choose

Opt

Which will be the one?

New

Old

Is it time to go

Let

Down

For those left in woe.

Confusion reigns supreme inside

Too much time for me to think

Hiding in my isolation

To fill the void I choose drink

Glass follows glass, numbness descends

My thoughts are now running wild

How I wish I could return

To the days when I was a child

Others do the thinking for me

I can just go with the flow

A do as I’m told, a good lad

I’ll go where I’m told to go

There are troubles in the world

But they are no worry of mine

Mum and Dad will sort it out

Better things to do with my time

Games to play, balls to kick

Running around making lots of noise

Pushing, punching, general mayhem

You know that boys will be boys

A simpler time, my main concern

What is there for me to eat

All things are paid for me

If I behave I will get a treat

When did this all change for me

Confused, really have no clue

But my shelter has disappeared

And I don’t know what to do

All the crap that is falling

Is landing right outside my door

I’m looking around for guidance

Yet it’s not there anymore

My world has crashed all around me

All I’d planned has gone away

Vanished into clouds above

Feeling panic, feet turn to clay

I build a wall around my life

I can keep the real world out

I can live in safe seclusion

Away from the words of doubt

Is it cowardice to hide

All I want is to feel secure

No hidden motives to my scheme

To this life I need a cure

With no walls yet, I crawl inside

The bottle of all my dreams

Within the comfort of stupor

I cannot hear my own screams

There’s a choice for me to make

I can stay the way that I am

Or put the bottle out of the way

Put an end to this sham

Starting to live my real life

Cool, clean and sober if I can

Stop hiding behind the bottle

And start acting like a man.

The first sunshine of spring

It brings warmth to the earth

Hope springs into one and all

It’s the time for re-birth

Blossom appears on the trees

Flowers bloom glowing bright

Awoken bright and early

Birds sing, the end of night

Hope flows through us all

We see winter has passed

The ice and snow have now gone

Thick coats are in the past

Its T-Shirts and shorts from now

Blue skies above our head

No more freezing cold mornings

As we get outta bed

Song in our hearts, spring in step

A smile wide on face

Picnics planned and days out

As we flit about the place

New energy flows through veins

Look what the sun can do

Goodwill to all and sundry

No reason to feel blue.

A young man used to see injustice

At each and every turn

He was angry with world

So much it made him burn

Found it hard to even things

Fighting a losing battle fight

The young man had an attitude

Kept trying as he might

Frustration grew as it does

Saw problems, where there’s none

 Raging, shouting and cursing

Firing off like a loose gun

Suspicious of everything and one

Reacting to every word

True personality hidden

It started to become absurd

Not everyone’s an enemy

Not every word’s a slur

Turning at every whisper

Head pounds begins to whir

Age slows the temper rising

A calmness drifts down

But the anger is still there

Waiting to go to town

The five o’ clock hero is returning

Ready to ride again

The enemy may have changed

So he’s back right as rain.

Facing the challenges

The same as he did before

Older maybe a little wiser

Ready to even the score.

The old lady has lived her life in only this small street

Rarely has she ventured far, she had no need, she felt complete

From girl through to adulthood, married and raised her family

She knew everyone around, was a perfect community

Now, kids have gone, her husband passed, her world has become so small

Her neighbours have changed, people come and go, she’s not known at all

She’s the old girl on the corner, visitors rare, she’s alone

Walking the road like a stranger, language spoke is not her own

School has finished, so much time, there’s nothing for young lads to do

They gather in groups and gangs, it helps them feel safe in their crew

To feel bigger they threaten, all the passers-by young and old

Shouting, shoving, breaking bottles, together they seem so bold

Then rivalries between gangs brew, they carry a knife or gun

Doped to the eyeballs every day, they’ve found a new source of fun

It’s all so great when on top,  but there will be a bitter end

If you play with knives , you get hurt, Body ID. To attend

Teenage girl logs on to face book, she talks to her new friend

He is only two years older, always has kind words to send

Whenever she has problems, or argues with her Mum and Dad

She has an online chat, he knows how to stop her feeling sad

Finally he asks to meet her, It’s what she’s been waiting for

He says to keep it secret, she sings as she walks through the door

It’s only two miles to the park, where they find her battered frame

A mystery man who groomed her, Then raped, no one knew his real name

At his table by the window, he’s watching the world pass by

Opening a bottle of red, pours a glass and starts to cry

Thinking back on his past life, he had made plans that were so great

But each of his schemes and dreams, required a loving mate

He’s one of a growing sector, middle aged, again single

Suddenly the world is too big, he’s lost the art to mingle

His partner is the wine bottle, he’s begun the slow decline

Looking outside from the inside, clings to the hope all will be fine

Studying hard both day and night, ‘cause he has to make the grade

He sees his Dad slaving daily, he wants more, his plan is made

Staring at his results, three A’s, he has done himself real proud

Mum and Dad brag about him, they are singing his praises loud

It’s then that he realises, his struggles may be in vain

If he’s lucky and gets a place, it’s a huge debt for his pain

What does he do, parents are poor, they can’t help him on his way

A sad indictment of this land, so we need more of a say.

What am I chasing for

What is that I want

There is something out there

But I know that I can’t

Get off my lazy arse

And make it happen now

Seconds become minutes

And years have gone somehow

I’m sure I’m still twenty

But it’s an older face

The mirror doesn’t lie

Times passing at a pace

Making of  future plans

Has always been my way

Thinking that there will be

The chance another day

Then suddenly I know

I’ve lived for more years

There are fewer left now

Time to confront my fears

No putting things off

It’s now and live my time

I’ve wasted far too much

More waste will be a crime.